


The Reason Why...

by damerey_knows



Series: Damerey Week 2018 [4]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Cannonverse, Comfort fic, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Sparring, damerey week 2018, damereyweek, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 02:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16359062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damerey_knows/pseuds/damerey_knows
Summary: Internal battles are the hardest to overcome...For Damerey Week Day 4: The Force





	The Reason Why...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys,  
> Sorry I am behind a few days, I've had some issues with my computer but it should be cleared up now. I should have one more story for Day 5 up later tonight, and I will post both day 6 and Chapter 3 of [Painted History](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16181438/chapters/37810928) for Day 7 tomorrow, if things go to plan. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy  
> \- Jumana

Rey breathed hard. She was standing in the middle of the training room, her staff in hand as she squared off against a foam humanoid figure. Finn had gone to bed a while ago, nursing a bloody lip and waving her off as she tried to apologize.

Rey screamed into the empty room, lunging forward to swipe at the dummy’s head. Dragging the staff in a loop around her head she ducked an imaginary blow and swung the staff at the dummy’s base. She could see the face on the dummy, she could almost hear the deranged screaming as she struck.

“Rey!”

She spun, swiping at the intruder.

He ducked the first end of her staff, raising a baton to catch the second as it whipped around her head.

The metal clang echoed around the training room as Rey realized that the person standing opposite her was not the phantom of Kylo Ren she’d been fighting. Gasping for breath she stared Poe down.

“Missed me,” Poe said, smiling at her teasingly.

That comment annoyed Rey. Straightening her stance and whirling her staff behind her right shoulder she stepped back from Poe, noticing the two batons he was holding as she did so. “What are you doing here, Poe?”

Poe’s smile didn’t waver. “Came to check up on you, wasn’t sure if you wanted a sparring partner,” he said, motioning with the batons.  

“I don’t need you to worry about me,” Rey groused, turning back to the dummy and taking her stance. She growled in frustration as she felt Poe grip the end of her staff, preventing her from resuming her training. “What do you want?”

Poe pulled the staff towards him, forcing Rey to turn back to him. “Rey, you need to rest. You’ve been here for hours.”

“So?”

“When’s the last time you slept?”

Rey pursed her lips. “Last night.”

“Well that’s a load of banthashit,” Poe said, a harsh note in his voice.

“Excuse me?” Rey said, indignantly.

“You haven’t left this room aside from meals for the last forty-eight hours,” Poe said, rolling his wrist in agitation, spinning the baton in a quick circle. “What time is it?”

“Late.”

“It’s nearly dawn, Sunshine.”

Rey turned to look at the door, as if it had a viewport to the outside in it.

“Rey,” Poe said, his voice placating. “What’s going on in that head of yours? Why are you pushing yourself this hard?”

Rey let her grip on her staff slacken, the back of her hands hitting her thighs as she looked at the mat between them. “I can’t sleep, not after….”

“That’s not your fault,” Poe said sternly. This was not the first time he’d had this argument with her. “You are not responsible for any of what happened on Crait. Luke made his choice, Kylo made his. You are not responsible for their failings.”

“I- it’s not that.” Rey wrapped one arm around her middle.

“Then what is it?” Poe asked, gently pulling the staff from her and dropping it on the ground next to his batons.

“I don’t know how to get through this without-” Rey cut herself off. “No, no, I can’t stop.” She made to grab her staff.

“No, tell me what’s happening,” Poe said sternly, standing between her and the staff.

“Don’t, Poe, just don’t.”

Poe raised his hands as if to grab her shoulders. “Killing yourself in here is not going to help anyone, and it certainly isn’t going to save anyone. So why don’t you just tell me what’s happening.”

“Poe, you can’t help with this.” Rey was getting mad now. Didn’t he understand that she can’t just stop.

“Rey, I’m your friend, I can help.”

“YOU CAN’T!”

Rey dropped her face into her hands, trying desperately to hide the tears and anguish from him.

“Why can’t I?” Poe’s voice was more gentle than ever. She could feel the heat from his outstretched hands as he stepped closer, hovering inches away.

“Because, because you don’t have this thing inside you, trying to get out.” Rey managed to lift her face to his. “You don’t have this evil sitting waiting to use you to hurt people, people you care about. You don’t have the leader of a cult trying to drag you- to make you comply with what the evil thing wants. You know where you came from, you know your heritage. I was cast aside because I mean nothing to no one, or I didn’t until someone found a way to use me.”

Poe’s eyes were unbearably kind as they looked at her. “You think that just because you’ve got a quantifiable evil hanging over you that you’re the only one it’s looking at?”

Rey didn’t know how to respond to that, caught as she was under his gaze.

“You’re not,” Poe said earnestly. “What you’re going through is huge, no one can deny that. But to think that you aren’t loved because of something that won’t even happen is banthashit.” Poe’s eyes dropped to her hands. He slid his fingers along her clenched fists, relaxing them. “You are not going through this alone, you need to understand that. You are a beautiful woman, who has gone through hell and come out stronger for it. You’ve made some mistakes along the way, but that’s what life is about. Figuring out how to pick up after a mistake and learning from it.” He lifted her hands to press a kiss against her knuckles, which were already starting to turn blue from the punching bags three hours ago. “And you are loved by so many people here, not just because you are useful. If you ended up paralyzed from the neck down, not able to do anything, BB-8, Finn, Rose, Chewy, Leia, Jess, me, so many people would be sitting next to your bed day in and day out you’ll get sick of us. We love you for you, not for what you can do, not as a tool to use against the First Order.”

Rey stared at Poe’s hands wrapped around hers, unsure of what to say to that.

Poe rested her hands against his chest, cradling them there with one hand while the other reached out to brush her hair off of her forehead. “You can get through this, and you will. You will learn to use the Force. It’s just going to take time. No one expects you to do it overnight. The old Jedi Order trained their students for years, from the time they were toddlers. You’ve only been practicing a few months, give yourself some credit for how far you’ve come already, especially without a proper teacher.”

Rey took a shuddering breath as Poe’s thumb wiped away a stray tear. She nodded, biting her lower lip.

“And now,” Poe said gently, wrapping an arm around her waist and steering them towards the doors to the training room. “You need to get some sleep, before you make yourself ill.”

Rey let out a weak laugh as they walked down the deserted halls towards her bunk. “Will you stay with me?” she asked quietly as she palmed open her door.

“Sure, Sweetheart.”

It took some convincing, but Rey ended up tucked into her bed with her head against Poe’s chest. She felt his arms coming up around her, holding her in a way that she hadn’t ever been. She let a few more tears drop onto his chest as she heard Poe begin to hum some song she didn’t recognize. It reverberated through his chest as one of his hands stroked her hair. The last thing she remembered before finally falling into a dreamless sleep was the sight of a ring against Poe’s chest and resolving to ask him about it when she woke up.

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think?  
> -Jumana


End file.
